


Clean Wound

by Tyan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2013-05-18
Packaged: 2017-12-12 05:20:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/807727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyan/pseuds/Tyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘Hungry, Cas?’ he tries to ask casually, voice tight. Dean has never managed to bottle his emotions well, despite what he claims. Sam wonders if something new has happened between them that he doesn’t know about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clean Wound

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 8.23. I got attacked by Destiel feels and couldn't shake it off, hence this little fic. I'm probably gonna have to write more because I'm still in a frenzy about this episode.

The base is quiet. Sam is sitting slumped in a chair, too tired to even pretend he’s doing anything. He thinks Dean must have helped him out of bed; he’s been sitting here for a while, if his sore bum is anything to go by. From the sound of it, Dean must be puttering around in the kitchen, probably preparing them a meal. Sam can’t remember when Dean had the time to buy groceries, but seeing the empty plastic bags by the table he figures he must have been out at some point. 

Kevin is sitting on the other side of the table, bent over books and papers. Sam doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting there. He supposes he’s quite tired, but he’s starting to feel better now. Less nauseous. His whole body doesn’t feel like it’s going to combust. That’s a good sign. Maybe he’ll think about standing up soon.

Someone shuffles behind him. Sam forces his head to move and sees Castiel in the doorway. His head is churning. He remembers… voices, the smell of the impala, rain, Dean’s warm hands. When did Cas get here? 

He looks small in the doorway. His hair is a mess, and he’s looking completely unlike himself in a pair of jeans and a loose plaid shirt - Dean’s, from the look of it. His shirt is buttoned unevenly. Sam wonders if he should comment, but figures Dean will take care of it.

‘Alright,’ Dean’s voice calls from the kitchen, right before he emerges with two plates of steaming… something. He puts one plate in front of Sam and the other in front of Kevin, then brushes his hands off on the back of his jeans. 

Kevin thanks him and pushes away the books, and Dean glances up towards the doorway where Cas is standing. He tenses. 

‘Hungry, Cas?’ he tries to ask casually, voice tight. Dean has never managed to bottle his emotions well, despite what he claims. Sam wonders if something new has happened between them that he doesn’t know about.

Cas looks at him, nods, then seems to take a moment to digest this. Angels don’t eat. Humans eat. Castiel is human and needs to eat. Sam wonders which one of the them is the most broken right now.

Dean disappears into the kitchen again and Cas moves into the room but doesn’t sit down. He’s looking at Sam. Sam gives him a careful smile, which Cas returns.

‘You doing alright, Cas?’

Cas hesitates. He doesn’t get asked that a lot, Sam supposes. Tilting his head slightly, Cas sighs and says, ‘I am fine. Thank you.’ 

Sam wishes he knew what to say, but he feels lost. How do you comfort a fallen angel? Cas doesn’t seem to know what to do with himself as he walks around the room, acting as though he’s experiencing everything for the first time. Funny - despite being human now, Cas still moves and talks like an otherwordly being. Old habits die hard. 

Cas turns to look back at him, unblinking and hard. ‘How are you doing, Sam?’ he asks.

Unsettled by his stare, Sam looks away. He gives a half-shrug and smiles. ‘I’m fine. I’ll live,’ he says. He doesn’t feel that bad actually. The heavy lump in his throat and the tightness in his chest is gone. He doesn’t feel like a failure. He imagines Castiel must feel differently.

Dean returns with a plate of - chicken? It looks like chicken - and puts it down next to Sam. He barely looks at Cas, clearly uncomfortable. ‘Eat,’ he says, then after small pause, ‘It’ll help.’

Cas looks at the food, then back at Dean. 

‘Thank you.’ 

The three of them eat in silence. Dean doesn’t emerge back out of the kitchen, which Cas seems to be conscious about, his eyes darting frequently towards the door. Kevin finishes quickly before he pushes the plate away and leafs through the papers, scribbling down something in his notebook. Sam wonders how he must feel; he knows the comfort of studying, and without the pressure of the tablet, he suspects it must be relaxing to simply soak in information. If Sam had managed to focus, he’d be studying something too.

Sam eats slowly, feeling hungry for the first time in ages but not managing more than a couple of bites now and then. His stomach is probably the size of a pea. It’ll take some time for it to adjust.

Cas finishes up second, and his chair scrapes the floor as he rises. As suspected, he walks into the kitchen, and Sam can hear a door close. It doesn’t take long before he can hear their voices. Kevin glances up at him, and Sam gives him a lopsided smile. 

It’s quiet at first, but soon their voices grow louder. He can’t hear them clearly, but he can guess what it’s about. Suddenly there’s quiet and he can hear sharp steps - Dean’s, no doubt - coming towards them. He comes into the room, grabs the coat hanging on one of the chairs and says, ‘I’m getting some air.’

Before he can leave, Cas comes after him. ‘Dean, listen to me,’ he urges, ‘I’m not leaving. I’m not going to leave this time.’

Dean, huffs, plasters on a fake smile, looks straight up at him. ‘Because you can’t now, right?’ 

Cas seems to deflate. ‘Dean.’

Dean throws up his hands, ‘I’m just … sick of empty promises, Cas. Quit it. I don’t want to hear it.’ 

He walks out, and after a moment Cas charges after him, grabs his arm and says, ‘please, Dean-‘

Dean looks at where Cas grabbed him, and seems suddenly aware of Sam and Kevin sitting at the table. Kevin staring at his notes and pretending not to pay attention, and Sam looks down before Dean catches him looking, making a re-newed effort to eat.

Their figures stand still in the corner of his eye. He suspects there’s that silent communication going on between them, and doesn’t want to intrude by looking up again.

‘We’ll take this outside,’ Dean says finally, but his voice seems softer. As their footsteps leave the hall Sam chances a glance up. He sees their retreating backs before they turn the corner, and there’s silence.

‘Lover’s quarrel?’ Kevin asks, half-joking.

‘Mmm,’ Sam says uncommitedly, still staring after them.

Kevin shifts uncomfortably and looks down at his notes again. Sam leans over and drags one of Kevin’s books towards him, ignoring his protest. He pages through it, not entirely focused, and suddenly remembers which room Cas came from.


End file.
